hzrry:

At McDonlalds last night they gave me the wrong flavour McFlurry and I screamed at them “YOU MCFUCKED UP.”

psychofactz:

More Facts on Psychofacts :)

dave-vriska:

enfeebler:

naathaaaly:

Reason why I hate cats. They’re so scary.

#Reasons why I hate babies #they do this and everyone blames the pet

THE BABY SMACKED THE CAT WHY ARE YOU BLAMING THE ANIMAL

At least the baby has learned a lesson - if you think you’re big enough to smack you’re big enough to get smacked back.

critink:

force-recon:

nathansummers:

gif-express:

Even past all the mods, They’re still human beings.<3

heroes 

*Unemployed^

Let’s go through the list, shall we?

• Stalking Cat was a computer programmer before he passed away earlier this year. He was Native American and trying to become closer to his totem animal. Through this, he helped pioneer all types of body modification and holds several Guinness Book Records.
• Erik Sprague, aka Lizard Man, was a former PhD candidate. He has a bachelor’s in philosophy and is a performance artist: both through international side shows and as a music festival host.
• Maria Jose Cristerna aka “La Mujer Vampiro”  (Vampire Woman) is the mother of four children and a fuckin’ lawyer. She started her transformation after getting out of an abusive marriage, and has talked out against domestic violence.
• Rick Genest aka Rico The Zombie is a fucking international model, has more sponsorships than any of us could ever hope, and was featured in Lady Gaga’s Born This Way video. Not bad for a 27-year old former homeless punk, I’d say.

I’m willing to bet you haven’t accomplished nearly as much as any one of these people. They’re not only heavily tattooed, but they’re also impressive as all hell in the “employed” department. But don’t worry about it—feel free to keep trying to make yourself feel better about your average life, average body, and average accomplishments.

 

Successful, employed, intelligent, body mod legends.

tomhiddleston-h:

crystalbluuepersuasion:

holycassbutt:

this is the old peter and a current one and im crying

MYFEELINGSCANNOTHANDLETHIS

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL 

hoctopi:

miwawim:

noxidanamchara:

bakerstreetsdoctor:

otpswillruinyourlife:

cant-catch-this-snitch:

castiels-hunter:

caffine-addict:

themeeg:

tin-pan-ali:

taking-the-tardis-to-asgard:

mymahoganymyrules:

maslab:

jykinturah:

nomiros:

takeshitakenji:

“Someone should write a book where the main character slowly falls in love with the reader.”

Last line of the book : “Please, don’t close the book, I don’t want to die”

oh my god

I’d just like, keep the book open and tape it to a wall.

I’m almost afraid to want it.

John Green, we’re waiting.

“So I guess this is it, isn’t it? There are no more chapters, right? You said we were getting close and that was a while ago.”

I stared up into the sky, it was the same old sky there had always been, except for some rainclouds that hadn’t been there a few minutes ago. It wasn’t raining, but they were still floating up there, grey and dismal.

You begin to ask me something.

“Don’t ask me how I know, I just do. Things just feel really final right now, like the downward slope is starting to level out. Eventually… We’ll hit the back cover, right?”

I sat down on a bench- had that been there a few minutes ago? It was hard to tell.

“Did you say yes? I think I heard you. Your voice keeps getting harder to hear.”

Thunder rumbled, but… It wasn’t like the thunder I’m used to. It sounded like you, and it sounded sad. From one of the clouds, a single drop of rain fell on the grainy wood of the bench.

“… You’re crying, aren’t you? I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I wish I could change this. I wish I could reach where you are.”

Thunder rolled again, and behind it was a voice. Your voice.

“Me? I’ll be fine, I think. I don’t know if this has ever happened before. I don’t really know what happens when you… close the book.”

You ask me if I’m afraid.

And oddly, I’m not.

“No, actually. Because… Whatever happens to me when you close the cover… You can always open the book up again, right?” and that’s when the answer hits me, the realization jolting me to stand again. “That’s it, isn’t it? You can open it back up. The words won’t change, but I’ll still be here. You can meet me all over again, and I can meet you, and everything we have will come back.”

It’s raining now, and the clouds have merged together, and in them, for the first time… I see you. 

You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my entire life.

You’re crying, but it’s quiet, and maybe that was the sound of your tears hitting paper.

I realize that we don’t have a lot of time.

“Listen- before it’s all over- I want you to know that everything, all of this… Even being over, it was worth it. It was worth it to meet you, to get to know you. Even if when you close that cover and I disappear- it was all worth it. I love you.”

You love me too, I know it, I can feel it, just like for a moment I can feel what it would be like to hold your hand.

There is a very long pause, and I realize you’re prolonging what has to happen.

“You can do it.”

For the first time, you have to be the hero. You have to close the book so we can keep going. And I believe in you.

The sky gets darker, slowly, but then it gets light again, and your face is still up in those clouds. You open your mouth and for the first time I HEAR you, not just feel what you’re saying or understand you in my own head, your voice comes through the pages in your world and into the reality of mine, and it reverberates and I can hear every little nuance, down to the hitch from you crying.

“I’ll never forget you,” you say. “I’ll come back soon.”

The end.

SOMEONE DID AND NOW IM EMOTIONAL

Plot Twist: 

“I love you.” She whispered softly closing the book. Her fantasy must end and he must die with it no matter how great their love. Tears fell from her eyes, landing upon the hard worn cover of her most beloved book. The book in which lied the love of her life. The book that loved her back. She ached to open it again but she could not continue like this. She must move on and live a life not in her precious book. Sobs racked her body as she walked to the self, hesitantly sliding her beloved book into the shelf. It was only for a time, she told herself. That she would come back again and read the story of her love again and that she may fall in love again. Whipping her eyes she turned toward the door, but froze in her tracks. A man stood there, concern lining his every feature. She knew that face. It was exactly as she had pictured it, from every line of his jaw to the exact color of his eyes. This can’t be possible.

“Why are you crying?”  Oh, his voice. That was his voice. It was as soothing as she had imagined. Her knees grew week and her mind went numb. She struggled for words as he approached her slowly, he knelt before her and touched her cheek, worry etched in his gentle movement. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

She could only choke out, “You’re real?”

I’M SCREAMING

FUCK IT GOT BETTER

MUCH MUCH BETTER 

SCREAMING FROM THIS PERFECTION

PERFECT POST IS PERFECT. EVERYONE GO HOME.

THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN. 

It’s like we love to torture ourselves with this kind of stuff… 

OH MY GOSH
THIS BOOK NEEDS TO HAPPEN
…should the protagonist remain gender-neutral throughout though??

aradiamegidoo:

i think ur singing them wrong

avengerstimebitches:

foxnewsofficial:

cock-and-coke-is-my-white-rabbit:

spookyroomba:

foxnewsofficial:

what does tumblr even mean

tumblr means family. and family means nobody gets left behind.

that’s actually kind of touching. 

it’s actually kind of gay

that’s also what tumblr means

death-by-lulz:

beautifullies12:

this may be one of truest posts I’ve ever seen